How many days had it been? Two? Three? Merlin wasn’t quite sure when it exactly was when he had last slept, his body ached with every movement and yet he was still pulled in every direction to assist someone. From serving Arthur in the early morning then doing rounds for Gaius and then off to help the knights with training then to polish armour, do laundry and probably stop a sorcerer in between from killing the King and then preparing dinner for the King, Merlin was at a tipping point.
He had been far too late for work, up pass down getting rid of a sorcerer who was of course planning on assassinating Arthur. Because of his tardiness Merlin received an earful from the prat he saved in the early morning, increasing the already painful headache he had. He got lost on the way while doing rounds knocking on doors in the citadel when he was meant to be in the lower town and then receiving an even more agitated scolding from Arthur at around lunch. The afternoon was worse as he had managed to yell at a visiting Lord which would have probably cost him his life if Elyan hadn’t been there to step in and of course Arthur heard about this.
“Merlin what the hell is wrong with you, I know you’ve always been lousy but seriously are you trying to get fired or at this rate killed,” Arthur asked.
“Can’t I have one bad day,” Merlin snapped back, he was in no mood for this conversation and was so terribly exhausted.
“I can’t allow you to slack off Merlin, you’re my manservant and especially in the time a Lord is visiting,” Arthur told him.
“Slack off? Well that’s righteous coming from you,” Merlin replied, his temper growing, oh if only he knew.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Arthur asked.
“Nothing,” Merlin replied.
“No if you're planning on talking big your going to have to back it up, so come on Merlin let me know all the things you're supposedly doing that are more than the King of Camelot,” Arthur said throwing up his hands in an action to show that the floor was all his to speak.
“Fine, I’ve been here for how long? Your servant since day one and in that time i’ve had to endure, bandits, griffins, evil sorcerers, getting yelled at, having things thrown at me day in and day out, helping you, helping Gaius, helping the knights and you know what I’m done, I am a God to thousands, a King to the druids, I can leave here and in a blink of an eye I could rule over so many people that to me you would be nothing more than a mere peasant,” Merlin sneered bursting out all the anger stuck in him, his chest rising and falling at a fast pace whilst Arthur looked at him blankly, his mouth ajar.
“God?” Arthur questioned his voice, sounding strained and unsure, as if hoping this was all some sort of horrible dream.
“A God of magic, I was born with it, there is no one like me, I am Emrys, translated from Greek and Welsh as Immortal,” he told him.
“You're just spitting lies,” Arthur then said, who seemed to find the first safe place as denial.
Merlin turned to the fire which embers were dying away and raised his hand and said an incantation and the fire roared with life casted an orange glow across the room before dying away, Merlin looked at Arthur whose shock had returned.
“I quit,” he said and then left, leaving a stunned king alone.
Maybe if Gaius hadn’t been in another village tending to the poor, maybe then Merlin would have had someone to talk some sense into him but there wasn’t so he returned to his chambers and packed, grabbing the staff and book of magic and leaving in the dead of night.
…
“Look again, I don’t care how long it takes, we need to find Merlin,” Arthur told the room of knights and Lords.
“Sire, maybe we should start searching out of the walls of Camelot, maybe if you told us more about what last happened with him, we could get more of an idea of where he had gone,” Leon questioned.
Arthur was quiet for a second before replying, “Everyone out except the knights,” he ordered with no room to argue and with that all the lords left immediately.
Arthur scanned the room looking at the remaining knights, all he trusted with his whole heart. Leon who had served him even more than he had served his father, Lancelot who had fought for this position and often proved to be loyal, Elyan who was loyal to him since the day they met, Percival who had once told him that they had the same enemies, Mordred who still in his youth, had turned against others to aid Arthur and Gwaine despite his pledge to desert his noble status became a knight to serve him. Even after all these things Arthur knew that this group would serve Merlin much more than they serve him.
“It is to my belief that Merlin is a sorcerer and claimed to be a God, I know the sorcerer part to be true by i’m unsure of the God part, we argued and he seemed tired and told me all of this and then quitted, I think he could of possibly gone to the druids,” he said and he looked around the room to see none of them looked surprised though Mordred had paled and seemed to be holding something back.
“We all had our suspicions,” Elyan told him.
“I knew he was a sorcerer, he saved my life when we first met with his magic,” Lancelot told him.
“He is a God, I grew up knowing it, he saved my life too when he first met, with the help of you and Lady Morgana,” Mordred told him and this was what surprised the room.
“What?” Arthur questioned.
“I was the druid boy who you helped escape from Camelot, Merlin still knows it was me,” Mordred replied.
“Do you know where he is?” Arthur asked, pushing that aside until further on.
“There have been rumours among my people passing around that Emrys has taken the throne, that he is starting to build a place for the druids and sorcerers alike so they have a safe haven. I didn’t believe these rumours to be true until now, ” Mordred told the room.
“Where?” Arthur questioned.
“Past the lake of Avalon and threw the cave many have planned to venture there to see if the rumours are true, we could disguise ourselves and join them,” Mordred suggested.
“Alright, we ride at leave at dawn on foot, Mordred I trust you can find us a group to go with,” Arthur asked and the Druid nodded so he turned to Lancelot “And can you and Percival find us the right attire so we blend in well,” he asked and the two nodded but Lancelot then spoke up.
“What do you plan to do if you find him?” he asked. Arthur was aware that the knights would never let him lay a hand on Merlin that intended on hurting him, but he had no plan to do so either way.
“I plan to apologise and ask for him to return,” Arthur told the group who now all wore grins, especially Gwaine, at the thought of Arthur apologising and asking for the forgiveness of his manservant, a day they never thought they’d see.
…
Merlin smiled and she smiled back and the two embraced, two souls lost to the world who hated their kind, lost to the pain that had been inflicted on them, brother and sisters in arm forgetting prophecies of war and times of betrayal all for the hope of peace for their kind.
“I would've never done this, I was driven by revenge, but you Merlin, you are what is right for us, you will be the one to save our kind,” Morgana told him, the shock of learning her old friend was Emrys was a surprise.
“Perhaps you're right but I think your council will help tremendously, you’ve always been prepared to speak your truth no matter the consequence and I’ll need that if I plan to keep this going,” Merlin told her.
“I’d be honoured,” she replied smiling and then the two sat down at two chairs at the long array of tables.
“I still can’t believe that you’ve been in Camelot all this time, a manservant to Arthur whilst you had all this power, all this status and never spoke up about it, though I presume the reason you're here is that you have now,” she asked.
He nodded “I was tired of playing the part of a lowly manservant, I needed to do something, live up to my name,” he replied.
“Didn’t Arthur try to stop you? I mean he’s very fond of you and though I’m not that aware of his opinions on Sorcerers I know that he would have put up a fight for you, though he would never admit it it was very obvious he cares alot about you,” she told him.
His head dipped slightly and his lips formed into a line before he replied, “He was surprised at the reveal and I didn’t tell him I was leaving, I was sorry if I went back to tell him I wouldn’t be able to but I had to, I’m tired so tired of it all and I am still in my youth so many have grown up being treated less for being magic,” he told her.
Morgana seemed at if she had more to say but Merlin cut in, “It’s been a long day Morgana, I think we better find you some housing for the night, I’ll make sure your properly accommodated soon,” he told her and she nodded, Arthur telling someone in charge of housing to find a place for Morgana he began to walk around.
He had made a safe haven, tucked away from the other kingdoms, an abandoned castle had been here and old homes that he had helped prepare for people to move into. The large hall of the castle served as a dining room where he and all that came would sit and eat as equals, there was a throne that he had been persuaded to sit in but he did not like it much and ate his meals beside the others. The druids had also formed together to make him a crown, which he wore as a sign of respect and gratitude towards them.
It was coming up to almost three weeks and so much had happened, around a thousand people had come here and the number was only growing among them came Morgana, he thought at first she could of come to kill him but when he saw her all he saw was a tired woman, one who used to be his friend. She looked at him and just chuckled, astonished at knowing who Emrys was.
“You're not here to bring any harm are you,” he had asked warily.
“Merlin, I'm done running, I just want to be safe,” she had replied.
He was proud, proud of what he had accomplished but his heart still ached for his King and for the Knights and Gwen and Gaius, but he had to do this, he could not sit and wait hoping for Arthur to repeal the ban on magic not with so many being persecuted. Around Camelot he was an Angel, someone helping any one with power out of fear that with one false move he could be killed but here he was a God, he was helping with his own free will, with the knowledge with what he was doing had a greater part in the hope to help all magic user’s.
…
It took the group a week to arrive, all wearing ragged cloaks and holding heavy bags, Arthur had turned once ready to tell Merlin to carry his bag and then realised two things, one was that he was not their and the other that he should of thought about Merlin and how if he was here he would of been holding an already heavy bag, if they found him Arthur would now gladly carry the warlock al the way back to Camelot.
They followed the group of druids they had been travelling with passed a waterfall to find a cave, there was a light at the end and when they reached the other side surprise filled them all.
There was a village teeming with life, people were walking around and chatting with magic filling the air, from people fixing broken doors to children releasing magic birds and butterflies in delight as others laughed in joy.
Arthur stopped for a moment and just looked, looking at the happiness of all the people around, the joy and all that had been created, this was nothing like Camelot which had become far too well known for its blood shed and tyranny. This was beautiful.
They started walking towards the large castle but then Gwaine let out a gasp and they all turned to see where he was looking and they followed his gaze to a women, her hair plated neatly and she wore a blue dress with a sword attached to her side, a weapon the group had left behind in fear of being discovered to be knights, she was smiling at two children who were showing her a spell in which they were making flowers produce, she chuckled and then her gaze fell on them. She said something to the children who went away skipping back to their friends and she kept her eye on the group, her lips in a thin line.
It seemed like it had been an eternity, Arthur now realised that in large moments of shock he tended to freeze up, a trait he planned to get rid of soon, he then began to walk towards her and the knights followed making sure their king could not easily be a target of a direct blow, but the witch did not seem to be no harm.
“Morgana,” he said, his voice not as sharp as he wished it was. “What are you doing here?” he asked, he was unsure why but he had a feeling that something had changed in his sister, something for the better.
“I’m here as so many others are. I want a place to be safe, somewhere I won’t be persecuted because of what I was born with,” she told him. “And if you plan on breaking the peace here I would suggest you leave or I will have no choice but to stop you brother,” she told him
He put his hands up in a sign of innocence to show he meant no harm before replying, “I mean no harm to you or anyone here, I just want to talk to Merlin, you can come with me if you want,” he told her and she nodded and the group grew and they kept walking.
The knights spoke behind them as the two siblings walked in front of them, it was silent for a few minutes before Arthur spoke. “You look like your old self, it’s good though I was wondering why you’ve decided to stop your seeking for the throne,” Arthur asked, hoping not to touch too much of a sensitive subject too early into the silent agreement of peace.
“Well I was beginning to doubt my morals, though I pledged I was doing this for those of magic I realised this was revenge, a ploy to get back at Uther and then I heard of the safe haven and I decided that perhaps it was time to settle down, to forget all that has been done to me, it’s all thanks to Merlin, all he’s done has helped me realise I would've never changed Camelot, I was too corrupt, I think he knew he couldn’t get you to change Camelot either and that it why he made this, here he has power and jurisdiction, here he can make change,” she told him.
“You’ve spoken with him?” he questioned and she nodded.
“I am his right hand, he seeks advice from me, something you once did, ” she told him, they were now at the doors of the castle and Arthur instantly noticed the absence of guards and servants and it seemed people walked in and out of here as they pleased.
Morgana seemed to read his mind as she spoke, “Merlin is unlike you, he does not wish to be served but to serve, though the druids have made him sit on a throne and wear a crown he does not want the title of King or God, and the absence of guards is because no one here would dare lay a hand on Merlin and if they did they stood no chance against him,” she told her brother and then they resumed walking into the castle and now it was Morgana’s turn to guide them down halls until they were met with closed doors.
“Give me a moment,” she told them and then knocked on the door and opened it sliding in and closing it behind her.
“Morgana,” the pleased voice of Merlin echoed from the hall, a voice they had all missed over the weeks.
“Emrys, you know if you sit hunched like that a little bit further you’ll end up falling off that throne of yours,” Morgana replied.
Merlin chuckled before replying “I have told you before to keep calling me Merlin, if you don’t I might even forget it’s my name with the amount of people who call me Emrys, but on another note why do I have the delight of seeing you this morning?” he responded.
“You have visitors, they don’t intend to cause any harm but their overall intentions so far are unclear to me,” she told him.
Merlin let out a nervous chuckle before responding, “Very reassuring Morgana, but let them in,” he told her and the group heard the soft click of her heels as she came over to them and opened the door letting them all walk in.
Arthur was very used to words. He had grown up on words, learning laws and writing speeches, he was trained in the ways of battle but also the ways of language, but right now he had no words. No words could describe the beauty he saw before him. Upon a golden throne with blue crystals cemented in it he sat. He wore a black shirt and trousers both lined with the colour silver and he wore a blue cloak that hung from his shoulders and black boots. His hair was combed perfectly as if no amount of wind could change it and upon it sat a crown, it was made of silver and seemed to be a crown of flowers with the petals being made up of the metal and the pistil being smaller blue crystals matching the throne, he looked extravagant, a blessing to all those who looked upon him.
If he had been told that the sky and sea had bled together and had formed a person, Merlin would have been the person he would have immediately thought of.
Merlin's stare was not cruel but calm, he seemed to be hoping for one of them to speak first and Arthur realised it should be him.
“You look majestic,” he breathed and was surprised there had been no chuckle in response, not even from Gwaine and Morgana, just a silent agreement.
A small smile appeared on Merlin’s face and his face reddened slightly and he spoke “What is your business here?” he asked.
Arthur finally pulled himself together as he replied “I- We want you home Merlin and I am so sorry for how I have treated you and deserve no forgiveness,” he told him.
Merlin looked unsure of his words as he replied “Things are much more complicated now, I- can we speak privately,” he asked eyeing the room and soon another the knights and Morgana left leaving the two.
“I don’t believe there’s a place left for me in Camelot, here I serve a real purpose, there I can’t be who I am,” he told Arthur.
“But I can change that I can lift the ban, Merlin I would do anything just for you to return I can not express how incredibly sorry I am you don’t even need to be my manservant anymore I just need you home, I need you by my side,” Arthur blurted in desperation.
A tear rolled down Merlin’s cheek “And I would want nothing more than to do that, to return and be by your side, but I can’t,” Merlin told him.
Arthur walked forward as he kept talking “Please reconsider, I can’t live a life without you Merlin please,” he said and he was now up in front of the king, no, the God of the Druids and he took his hands into his. Merlin stood up so there were two pairs of watery blue eyes looking into one another and then Merlin leaned slowly forward, his hand going to Arthur’s cheek as his lips pressed onto the King’s of Camelot.
Arthur kissed back his arms now around the sorcerer's waist as the act of passion continued. Arthur would have loved this, loved to know the feelings were mutual that the love he had was shared but there was a part of him that knew that this was a goodbye.
When they broke away breathless, Arthur still yearned for more, to not ever have to be away from this, from this moment, away from moment. Their foreheads were pressed together and it was silent until Merlin finally spoke two words, two words that led Arthur to know the inevitable fate of what would come next, “I’m sorry,” he whispered.
Both of their faces were tear stained as Arthur pulled away, his arms retracting, he placed a small kiss on Merlin’s cheek before saying, “It has been an honour and a privilege knowing and loving you Merlin Ambroisus,” Arthur told him as he began to step back still facing Merlin.
“And the same to you Arthur Pendragon,” the tear stained god replied and Arthur could not bare to look upon him any longer in fear that if he did he would never leave and so he turned and exited. He knew then that he truly loved Merlin enough to let him go.
He found the knights and Morgana outside the castle entrance and none of them commented on his tear stained face, “It’s time to leave,” he told them softly and they all knew Merlin would not be joining them.
“I’m going to stay for a while,” Mordred then told him and Arthur turned to the young knight.
“Keep him safe,” Arthur told him and he nodded and the group began to walk away.
…
Since the moment he arrived in Camelot Merlin’s life had been filled with the expectations of others, he had a destiny and a name to live up to, nothing could come in the way of that, though there was a tugging in him, a part that told him that for once he should do what he wanted, but he was corned until something came to his mind.
He stood from the throne wiping his tears and letting a small chuckle of joy out, he took the crown from his head and placed it onto the seat of the throne and began to run, he was really doing it, he really was, he ran until he was beside Morgan and Mordred.
“Merlin are you alright?” she questioned.
“I was not born to rule, but you were, it may of been twisted along the way but this is what you wanted, this is what you deserve, you deserve happiness and joy and safety and you deserve to rule Morgana, so I leave you the throne as I know you will use its purpose well,” he told her.
She smiled with a tear sparkling in her eye as she knew this meant goodbye, “Go to him,” she replied.
He hugged her and then Mordred and then he was off again, he passed the village ignoring the surprise of the people of others as he passed them, he had made this and had left it in good hands.
He made his way into the forest, running as fast as he could, his cape billowing behind him and then he realised something. He knew then that he truly loved Arthur enough to not be able to let him go.
At the first sign of the group he yelled out the name of the man he had chosen, the man he would love for eternity “Arthur!” he yelled.
The king stopped in his place and then turned and Merlin kept running, now looking at the shocked face of Arthur Pendragon. He threw himself into the king's arms sinking into the feeling as Arthur held him tight.
“I choose you Arthur, over it all,” he told him.
Arthur pulled back a little only to surge forward kissing Merlin with so much joy and passion that words could not contain.
As they pulled away Arthur responded, “Thank you Merlin, thank you,”
